8 Steps To a Happy Life
“You’re sooooo happy all the time. How?” “Why are you always in a good mood?” “God, does anything bad ever happen to you?” “How can you be so positive all the time?”
These questions are just a handful of the ones I receive on a regular basis. People want to know why I’m always vibrating high or why I’m never in a bad mood.
I do get in pissy moods, don’t get me wrong. I AM a human. However, those bad days come few and far between for me. So here’s a little lesson on “how” that’s my reality and what you can do to make it yours too.
1. Just what I said. It’s my reality. I MAKE my own reality.
People have a hard time accepting that happiness is a choice. But in actuality, it IS a choice. If the human mind is strong enough to create a hysterical pregnancy, you better believe it’s strong enough to will away negative thoughts.
When I wake up in the morning, I don’t piss and moan about the shit I have to do like “work” and “do laundry” and “clean” and “pay bills.” Guess freaking what. EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER has to do the SAME shit. WHY are you complaining about something that everyone else has to do?
Be happy you actually have a job to go to and the money to pay those bills. And legs and arms that function to do your cleaning and laundry.
I choose to be happy. If my mind reverts to a bad thought, I don’t let it. I switch it immediately to a positive note. Why dwell on things that’ll make you upset? That sounds like a huge waste of time and precious thoughts if you ask me.
2. I don’t sweat the stupid stuff.
There is a great big world around you. And if you blew a tire today, yeah, it’s inconvenient. But are you seriously going to sit and bitch and ruin your day and everyone else’s around you because YOU BLEW A TIRE? Go to 3rd world country and see what real struggle is.
Honestly, if someone keyed my car right now, I would shrug and get in it and drive away. Cause it’s a freaking car. Who the hell cares?
“#Firstworldprobz” like breaking a nail and spilling on your coach bags are nothing in comparison to what the real world goes through.
So I approach things from a higher perspective. Little, silly things that virtually have no impact on my life or my wellbeing are things I waste ZERO time on. I keep moving toward important things.
If it impacts my health, my life path/goals/purpose, my wellbeing or someone who I care about, then it’ll get my energy. Otherwise, good riddance.
3. I eliminate toxicity
If a person or situation in my life is causing me grief, stress, stomach aches, headaches or leaving me feeling drained: they’re getting eliminated.
I’ve learned enough in my life that wasting time, the little we have on Earth, on toxic situations gets you nowhere but surrounded by more toxicity.
Honestly, if someone is of no use to my greater and higher good, why would I keep them around? And this goes for people who I’ve known for 27 years or people I’ve known for a day. If you’re not on my vibration level, if you’re dragging me down, tootloo! I’m not a bitch. I just care enough about myself to not waste time on negativity. If you could see with your physical eye what toxic people and situations do to your emotional and mental energy, you’d run in the other direction. But because we don’t always see it, it’s easier to ignore. Until we feel it….and let it linger until it gives you an ulcer. Then you’ll move on. Don’t wait that long. Negative is negative. It won’t change.
4. I love myself and put myself first.
This sounds so selfish. But is it? Why is it ok for us to take care of others all the time, but not ok for us to take care of ourselves?
It starts with you. You can’t expect to wholeheartedly be able to take care of other people if you don’t know the first thing about care taking. And you cant expect to be able to love someone completely and unconditionally OR expect someone to love YOU completely and unconditionally if you don’t give a rats ass about yourself. COME ON! LOVE yourself! I don’t care if you have to stare in the mirror for 4 hours a day repeating “I love you!” to yourself until it sticks. But we’re all amazing. And we all deserve to know that about ourselves.
In my line of work, my colleagues and I have a phrase, “Do the work.” That means, even though we are healers and we work to heal other people, we did the work to heal ourselves first. We can’t heal someone else’s crap if we haven’t dealt with our own.
So do the work.
Heal yourself from any hatred or self-unlove you have and get loving yourself.
This coincides with my 3rd rule. If someone or something isn’t good for me, I recognize it and take action. I’m not going to put myself in a relationship or place in my life that’s not good for me…that’s not fair to myself. I deserve to be treated the way I know I deserve to be treated and I honor that.
5. I don’t let others define my happiness.
So many people these days depend on others for their happiness. Especially in relationships. “If he leaves me I’ll die.” Being single is like the plague for some reason.
When it comes to relationships of any sort: Being with someone should not define your happiness.
If you’re miserable being single, getting in a relationship is not going to make you happier. I know you might THINK that. But the reality is, you’re still miserable. You’re just depending your happiness on someone else.
What if they leave you? Then what? You’re miserable again?
No. Be happy. Get happy. Find what makes you happy. And in a way that has NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY ZILCH, to do with another human being. Once you get yourself on THAT level, relationships won’t be so scary nor will they control your life. And if you’re in a crappy one, you’ll recognize it right away because you won’t stand for being anything BUT happy.
People should be happy. Relationships should amplify perfect happiness. Nothing more, nothing less.
6. I take me time.
I’m a Spiritual chick. I respect and honor the importance of the mind-body-soul connection. I make sure I’m grounded and clear of mind EVERY day.
People drop their jaws when I tell them I meditate daily. What’s so shocking about that? You eat don’t you? You nourish your body don’t you? Well meditation nourishes the mind/soul and grounds our energy. It’s just as important as eating. Don’t have time? Make time. You make time to go on Facebook. You make time to go get a beer. You make time to eat. Make time to take care of your mind! It’s LINKED TO YOUR BODY. If your energy isn’t healthy, you body probably isn’t feeling it either.
The world is a busy place, I get that. But why is that any consolation for taking care of what you want to do when you want or need to do it?
If I have a lot going on, which I usually do, I schedule my me time. If that means staying in on a Friday or Saturday night (oh the horror!) then I do. I take time to write. I take time to try things I’ve wanted to try. I make the me time happen. Which helped to build my relationship with myself. Which built that self love I yapped about already.
7. I be.
If you’re pissed about something that happened last week or you’re dreading something that’s happening in a month, then you’re not “Be-ing.”
You need to Be. And Be Present.
I’m present constantly. I know how I’m feeling at every moment of the day. “Hey self, you good?” “Yeah, I’m good.”
I check in. I know my mind, my body, my emotions. I don’t launch into the future. And the past doesn’t matter. Whether it was 6 months ago or 6 seconds ago, it’s gone. Bye bye. Not here no more. So get off it! Be. RIGHT NOW. THIS SECOND. AND NOW. AND NOW. AND NOW. If you “Be” you’ll loosen the burdens of anxiety and depression.
Last, but certainly not least, I show gratitude. I’m happy all the time and good things happen all the time because I’m grateful for what I already have. I might not have the house I want or all the money in the world, but thank freaking God I have a warm house, a bed, clean water, clean oxygen, legs that work, arms that work, all of my organs function perfectly…the list goes on and on. We forget about that stuff. While we’re complaining about flat tires and missed appointments and this one said that, do you ever stop to think…geez, good thing I have the money to pay for the flat tire (thank you!) and good thing I have the money and car to get to any appointment (thank you!) and good thing I have ears that can hear what so and so said and a voice box that vocalizes my opinions (thank you!)
We forget the little things to be grateful for, never mind the big things. SO I show gratitude every day, all the time.
I light a candle everyday and list the things I’m grateful for to show the Universe, or God or Goddess or Deity or Angels or whoever you pray to, even if its no one, that I’m grateful.
And gratitude changes your perception on things.
So there you have it. That’s my list. That’s how I stay happy and bubbly and loud all the time. And that’s why I live such an amazing life. I choose to. I live to live. I live to love. I live to be happy. I don’t dwell on things. I don’t cry over spilled milk. Shoot, I don’t even cry over a keyed car. I find the things to laugh at and smile about. And things to be grateful for. Like working fingers and a working mind to type this, and of course, a brilliant laptop to do it on. And the internet. And…
You get it.
Here’s to an amazing day! And life!